When you are in the role of caregiver, sometimes it can be difficult to talk with your loved one, especially if they have some type of cognitive impairment. How do you know if they truly understanding what you are saying to them? Choosing the right words and conveying the right message can be difficult, especially when you are dealing with their diminished mental capacity.
Sometimes, there are feelings of frustration both on your part and theirs which is understandable. They do not wish to be incapacitated and you do not wish to lose your patience but it does happen. However, there are some things you can do to try and reduce the stress both you and your loved one feel during these times of communication.
Grab their attention first. With mental impairment, your loved one may become confused if there is too much background noise or there is another presence in the room. Use their first name, term of endearment (Sweetie or Dear) or relationship (such as Dad or Mom) and pause for a moment. You may have to repeat yourself until they hear your voice and turn to look at you. Before you continue to speak, make sure they are engaged with you.
Speak clearly and concisely. You will want to be face to face with them at eye level when you talk with them. If they can look into your eyes and see your lips moving, they are more apt to clue into what you are saying. Of course, make sure you enunciate your words, being careful not to slur. Never occupy your hands with another task or look around when talking to your loved one. They will lose concentration and interest quickly otherwise.
Break up your message into short statements. Just like with young children, adults with cognitive impairment may not be able to process a statement with several directives in it. Instead, you need to break down each action and present them one by one. This may seem rather curt and could even be interpreted as rudeness by your loved one so temper each statement with “please” and “thank you.”
Do not raise your voice to be heard. This can startle or scare your loved one. Instead, move closer to them, taking care to respect their personal space.
Do not order or talk at them. Instead, formulate your wording to make it seem they are doing you a favor by cooperating. Ask them for help instead of telling them what to do. For example, “Can you move your cane so I can walk without tripping?” or “Please come to the dinner table; it is time to eat.”
Be sure to take the time to listen. Just because your loved one may have some type of mental impairment does not mean they have nothing to contribute to a conversation. You may have to help them when they have trouble coming up with words to something. Occasionally they may know exactly what they are talking about but forget the word for TV or dog. There may be some charades thrown in to get a point across but that is the whole point
